I know I'm not a lifestyle blogger, I am a book blogger, but I've decided to share this little post with my lovely readers because we're basically like family at this point. 

Since joining Bookstagram and rebooting my blog, I've noticed how close to my followers and readers I really am.

What once felt like a community of booknerds, became almost like a second family to me. 

With that being said, I've become very comfortable with all of you these past few months and have begun to open up as well. 

This is where this post comes to play! I wanted to share a little inside of my life and an exciting detail on my growth. 

Throughout the past almost two years of officially becoming an adult, I've noticed I've been experiencing more downs than ups lately. 

I went to school and practically wasted money on a program that limited my creative use of writing; that basically limited my own opinions and desires. Crashed all my writing knowledge down by criticizing my writing because it "wasn't simple enough."

And that was just one small problem that begun what I felt like was an "adult curse."

I felt like I was at rock bottom. That at 19 years old, maybe I'll never get my life together. People surrounded me with comments saying I should go to school for a high paying job. To think fast because I'm not going to be young forever; that if I don't get a full-time job by 25, I will live my life broke.

I was surrounded by so much negativity; my thoughts ate me up and I felt like my mental illness was spiralling down, getting worse by the minute. I needed change fast.

With the thought that I went from seasonal depression, to depressing stages every two weeks -- lasting about a week or so, I didn't want to continue the life I was living.

I've became more interested in meditation and yoga. Trying to understand what I really wanted and what I mentally and physically really needed.

I've shared so many meaningful conversations, exposing tears and frustration with myself to the one person who listens and acts with the intent of causing nothing but positivity to myself.

This helped me realize what I truly desire for my future.

I knew I've always wanted to be a writer. I've always wanted to surround myself with some form literature; whether it was reading, writing, editing, publishing etc. Literature is what I love and what I'm passionate about. 

When I was younger, I always thought I shouldn't be the type to write books, or even be a blogger as a source of income. I always thought I needed to get some form of high paying job immediately; whether it was a doctor, a nurse, lawyer, etc. 

Growing up, to me, my future was filled with wealth more than happiness. Almost like, "I don't really like this job, I'm not really interested in it. But hey, if it gets me big bucks then I'll take it!"

As I grew and started the meditation process, I realized that isn't what I want for my future.

I don't want to dread going to work every morning. I don't want to savour only two days of the week when I can enjoy every second of my life.

Coming to the realization, I'd rather do what I love and make an average amount of money, than hate my job for the rest of my life but be wealthy.

Because think about it, a good person isn't rich in finances, but rich in soul.

I've decided to diminish all those thoughts I had about a job, growing up.  In order to survive, I don't need millions of dollars. I don't need a negative perspective on my career. I don't want to be the type of person who works a 9 to 5 job at a place that makes me waste seconds of my life, counting down the moments when I get to go home and relax, yet too drained to enjoy time with my family and kids.

I want to be able to live my truest life.

I've decided, it's never too late to dwell on your dreams. And as I've always wanted to be a writer; I've decided to do so. If this is what my heart desires and what it truly believes I'm made for then so be it.

I was so inspired by a lot of new and upcoming authors who are all around my age, some older. You don't need to be a certain age to write and you certainly don't need to be a certain age to do what you love.

I was especially inspired by Tomi Adeyemi and her video of her unboxing her book (which will be linked here if you want to watch it) before it was even published. In her early 20's, she's made that decision to take that route and do what she loves.

I've decided to do the same.

It's not going to be an overnight thing, of course. It's going to take months or even years to get to the point where I want to be. But I've decided as you lovelies are my readers, you deserve to be a part of my journey. I want to take you all on this writing ride with me -- the good and the bad! Therefore, I'll frequently post updates on my Instagram, but also little journals on my blog as well!

Of course, being a writer isn't going to be my only source of income right now, I'll still be working and frequently blogging. But in hopes that one day, I'll be surrounded by literature.

I wanted to thank all my lovely readers, and my main support system who have supported me and continued to support me.

On the road to happiness we go! And I'm excited to bring you all along with me!